Moby Ben

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Moby Ben

Heart thumping and racing, I ran from the one eyed harbor thug. A quick turn to the right, and I ran up the gangplank of a tall sailing ship. An overly dressed man in a tall hat was sitting at a table with a quill in his hand.

As he wrote in a large book, I could hear him bark questions at the first man in a long line of sailors. I got in the line and kept my face turned away from “one-eye” as he tried to locate me in the chaos of the dock. I saw him turn and retrace his steps, slowly searching.

This ship smelled different than the one from which I was running. It smelled of ambergris and burned whale oil. A ‘whaler’ heading out to the hunt was signing on a crew. The ship I escaped from smelled of slaves kept too long in the hold. I think the memory and that stench shall never leave me.

I was shanghaied in Portsmouth, forced to work as a deck hand on that slaver, and made a promise to myself; I would escape first chance I had, wherever I was. This is the place, Nantucket!

The gentleman hollered, “Next!” as the line shortened one man’s worth.

I heard him tell everyone, “This ship leaves on the tide,” which was around ‘Ten’ tomorrow morning.

Realizing I was not ready for another eternity at sea, an internal battle ensued. Should I stay on this ship and be safe from the slaver, or should I pursue my fortune inland where I have never been?

Needing time to think, I cautiously walked down the gangplank looking left and right. I need to move, make a decision, so I let my luck lead me to the right, past the name on the bow of the ship.

“PEQUOD,” A strange name I mumbled to myself.

“What’s the worst that could happen if I chose the ship?”

Having given ‘luck’ the tiller, ‘luck’ would have this day! I walked smartly past the gang plank, still thinking about the name, but never looking up.

I turned landward, west.

‘Special Bargain’ Poem

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This poem would be a bargain,
if you paid double the price.
But, it’s a first time offering so,
I thought half would be nice!

To save you even more,
I’m writing half as much as I normally would.
And if you’ve read my other writings,
You’d know why that’s twice as good!

If you’re buying this poem today,

I’ll charge for two stanzas, but give you three,
And if you buy this all the way to the end,
the truth is, this poem’s on me!

© Copyright 2011 gottagosee

The ‘Hubrilic’

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The ‘Hubrilic’

I’ve been writing almost all of my life. My wife saves all notebooks and scraps of paper she has found lying around, and in my pockets at the washing machine. Recently, some limericks arrived in a box of my stuff my mother (86) saved from grade school, scout camp, high school, and college. I’ve written ideas down, short stories, memories, and of course, poetry.

My most current writing adventures are in what started out to be a political blog. I’ve spent two years bloviating, and actually created some articles worthy of national attention. Some of my comments in a Washington, D.C. daily, actually changed conversation threads and terrorized the opposition.

I’ve been a member of WDC since 2007. At first, I read and critiqued other writers gently. I slowly began to create my own writings capable of the top twenty-five percent, maybe. There are exceptionally talented people leaving great creations here!

There is also a plethora (herd) of others. I’m trying extremely hard not to be one of that herd. Even though, I’ve been writing for years, I realize that I need to develop further as a writer, so I try writing something of everything. I could best be described as having moments of pure genius surrounded by a ring of mediocrity.

One night, while trying to write a stock poem called “I Am a Weary Traveler”, a whole nonrelated stanza popped into my mind. I’d been reading about the different contests to be entered. One was a limerick contest as we were close to St. Patrick’s Day. This must have been working in a corner of my brain because out popped this non-limerick (but close) stanza:

I began to write the perfect poem,

But realized I can’t!

To close the door on other’s dreams,

Is something that I shan’t!

I began to laugh out loud. I ran into the living room and recited it to my daughter, who also began to belly laugh. There was a short rocks glass with ice and Coke Zero in my hand, which usually had a little Bacardi in it. She asked me how many of those I’d had and I told her there was only Coke Zero in it. She laughed some more and told me, I needed rest.

After looking up the word shan’t, and inserting the apostrophe that was not there, I realized writings this important need a name. I also realized if I wrote the perfect poem, I would ruin poetry for everyone for evermore. I’m too new at this writing art to do that to everyone. I’d had one of those “genius” moments too early in my career. Alas, through the eyes of the professionals, I had not paid my dues!

I would end up ruining it for every little girl and boy that wanted to write about love and their first love, the darkness of reality, and their hopes for the future.

I would ruin it for all of those poets that write line after line with a word brush I just don’t have yet. But what shall I call these four lines that saved poetry for the world? It’s not a limerick! It’s way too historical to be a just a four line poem! I left it on my “white board” for a couple of days with the trial title “Poetry Reprieve”, and let it digest.

On Saturday afternoon, I woke from a nap and immediately looked up at the “white board”. It’s a Hubrilic*. Hopefully the last one the world will ever see! There just isn’t room for another poet, that writes as good as me!

Gees, I did it again. IS THERE NO END!

*A combination of hubris and limerick. (Hubrilic)

© Copyright 2011 gottagosee (UN: gottagosee at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
gottagosee has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.

Benjamin

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“It looks like I’m the last dog to go home!” I said to JB, as he was putting the bar stools up on the tables for the cleaning lady.

“Yep!” he said, “Time to close up the shop, it’s been a long day.”

I stood to leave.

JB said I didn’t have to leave in a hurry, because he still had to fill the coolers.  He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ‘house quarter’.  It had fingernail polish on one side so it could be used in the pool table or juke box and wouldn’t be counted as profit at the end of the day.

He told me to put it in the Juke and hit C 3, as he flipped it across the room to me.

I missed and watched as it rolled across the floor, straight into a hole in the corner by the back-bar.

“Damn!” I exclaimed.  “It rolled right into a hole in the wall!”

I got down on my knees to get a better look.

“Don’t worry about it.” JB said.  “That’s Benjamin’s place.  See the little table with the little checkered table cloth and little chair, just off to the side, and behind the back-bar?  That quarter will be on that table in the morning!”

“You’re joking!” I said.

“Nope!  Every night, before I lock up, I put a shot glass of beer and a piece of “Nut Goodie” on that table, and every morning when I open, there will be a stack of all the coins people dropped during the day!”

He poured a shot of beer and put it on the little table.

“Stop by at nine when I open.  You’ll see!” He challenged.

He held the door open.  I laughed and headed out.

“See you at nine!” I said chuckling, while giving JB an artificial nod.

I had no intention of showing up at nine.

But I did!

A Child

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So, I sat down at my keyboard, but hesitated, “Ron, this is way too ambitious for you, a confirmed but quiet and reserved Christian. You don’t stand up and preach, make a spectacle of your beliefs or force yourself on anybody.” But, I ignored myself and did something I’d wanted to do for a long time, and I began.

This short story has been written over and over for the last three years. It’s been twice as long, half as long, and now, has settled here. I hope everyone remembers this is a fictional interpretation, yet I hope it accomplishes what I intended, the same story from a different point of view!

*****

At the moment of everything, I was the one. I grew to be so much more. It was expected the mountain below would remain the symbol of a god’s power over man longer. It was believed the thunder and lightning would continue to command the fear and respect of the humans and distract them from themselves. This fear would maintain peace and harmony. I watched the mountain crumble, as the fear disappeared and the people learned there was nothing to be afraid of.

The sight of the white beard and bowed shoulders of the last surviving mountain god to walk the high sanctuary’s crumbling temples, wells up sorrow from deep within me. These earthly icons served me well. It is the end of their time. It is the end of a time.

Below the clouds of the mountain, after eons of subordination to those earthbound Gods, some humans have decided to abandon the tradition of their Thunder God’s guidance and leadership. At some moment, some humans rallied, “The Gods of the mountain tops have seen their day!”

They believe ‘today’ belongs to the leadership, ingenuity, and creativity of man alone.

I am watching the emerging man gods tear one another apart, country by country, city by city, war after war. It seems as if they are going to run out of people before they figure out that they’ve lost their way.

Much time has passed since the beginning of it all. I alone, watch. I do have compassion, but all I can do right now is watch. I have to wait until they are ready for me. They must learn, so they are able go on. It’s the only way they will know.

Now, the new, insecure leaders are refuting my existence to strengthen themselves.

They say, “Where is he, do you see him, touch him, and does he speak to you as I do?”

It is the beginning of their end. It won’t be long; I do not want it to last a long time.

I need to let them know I am here, another chance to see that I am the Creator and Father of all.

I shall create a child as a sign of the new beginning.

He shall be my son but also of the people. They will be able to see him, watch him grow, hear him, touch him.

He will touch them, tell them, and then show them the way. Some will follow, and some will not.

Really………. It has always been up to them!

The Death of my Tuna Noodle Casserole!

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I got a nasty Email yesterday from a woman that was extremely disappointed with one of my recipes.

She said a friend of hers told her about the fabulous ‘Tuna Noodle Casserole’ that was posted on my website. So, she said she went to my website and copied my recipe as she had guests coming over for dinner that evening.

This is a copy of the Email:

Dear Mr. Drobeck, I tried your ‘Tuna Noodle Casserole’ recipe last night and served it to some of my best friends. I have to say, it was a complete failure. None of my guests would eat it, and it stunk up the house while it was baking.

I followed your recipe exactly as posted! Well, except for one exception. I didn’t have any regular noodles but did have whole wheat spiral macaroni that my husband eats because of his heart condition, but everything else was exactly as you suggested.

Oh, one more thing, I didn’t have any tuna in the pantry, and because it was getting so late in the day, I didn’t have time to run to the store, so I used two small cans of sardines instead of the tuna. I just chopped them up in tuna size pieces, but everything else was just as your recipe required. I wouldn’t think the can of split pea soup I substituted for the Cream of Mushroom soup would be enough to alter the recipe. Because time was short, I baked it at 450 degrees Instead of the 325 in your recipe but I shortened the cooking time, to compensate. Other than that, I followed your directions perfectly.

May I suggest you try another endeavor? Cooking doesn’t seem to be your calling. I for one will never try one of your recipes again.

Sincerely, Hildegaard Blossom

Ron’s World Famous BBQ Ribs

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Ron’s World Famous BBQ Ribs

Here is a pork rib recipe that can be barbecued all winter because ninety percent of it is done inside. It is only finished outside on the grill for the forty-five minutes before serving. That can even be shortened to fifteen minutes if it’s downright nasty outside. Of course, this recipe works great all summer, can be prepared ahead of time, and ‘finished’ at the lake.

Several racks of thawed or fresh pork ribs (I usually do four at a time)

Your favorite rub (I use Masterpiece BBQ Seasoning)

Enough of your favorite ‘mop on’ BBQ sauce to cover your ribs a couple of coats

*****

I remove the membrane on the back side of the ribs. This helps the rub soak in from both sides.

I put my rub in a bowl, so I don’t contaminate the rub container with my hands. Rub a liberal amount on both sides of the ribs. This depends on the strength of your rub. Mine is medium to mild. The Hickory/Mesquite stuff from Costco is potent, and there is everything in between.

Wrap the rack of ribs in the thick, extra wide foil and seal the ends by folding. I’ve used the lesser foil by joining two pieces together.

You have two choices here. Both have worked for me. Place the wrapped ribs on a cookie sheet or sheets in a 300° oven for two hours, or 225° oven for three hours. The object is to get the ribs slightly separating from the bone. The time will depend on whether you put the ribs in the oven from refrigerator temp. or from room temp. Room temp works best for me.

When the ribs are tender, remove them from the oven and place the whole cookie sheet on cookie cooling racks. Let the ribs rest! Do not open the foil until the steam is no longer coming out and you are barely able touch them. (cooling ribs suck in the sauce as they cool)

Carefully open the foil, so you don’t lose liquid, slather your sauce mainly on the front of the ribs, reseal and put them in the refrigerator. As long as they are sealed they will be ok for a couple of days.

When you are ready to ‘finish’ on your grill, take them out of the refrigerator a little ahead of time, place the foil sealed ribs on the grill for ½ hour on medium. When you think they are heated through, you can hear them sizzling, take the foil off, and turn with layers of heat and sauce. When they look fantastic, remove to the eatin’ table.

This is easier than it looks. This recipe has never failed me……enjoy!

World’s Easiest Six Layer Hot Dish

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Six Layer Hot Dish

I think this came out of a Lutheran church cookbook a long time ago!

This dish is designed to be made with food items you normally already have in the house. It can be set up the evening before, be put in the refrigerator and then baked the next day.

1st layer: Sliced raw potatoes (three large baking or equal amount of red)

2nd layer: 1 lb. of browned hamburger

3rd layer: 1 small onion, sliced

4th layer: Raw carrots, thinly sliced (5 medium)

Add some salt and pepper here

5th layer: 1 can of peas (drained)

6th layer: 1 can of French cut green beans

1 can of condensed tomato soup

Mix the drained peas and beans with the tomato soup. Pour over the top of the first four layers in a two quart, buttered, baking dish or casserole.

Cover

Bake at 350° for 1 to 1 ½ hours until carrots are tender. Serves 4 to 6

I’m publishing this because I’m fascinated by the sweetness it gets without adding sugar. Let me know if you agree. I can also see this cooked at a campsite in a dutch oven. Gees, it would taste great in the open air as does Macaroni Goulash.

Writing, the Easy Life

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I heard Scott’s mom say to Scott, “Scott, dad’s cleaning house.”

Scott tells Jesse, “Mom says dad’s in that cleaning mood again.”

Jesse sees his Sister Jaime coming down the hall and tells her, “Dad’s got the vacuum out!”

Brian pokes his head out of his bedroom and he sees his dad, with vacuum cleaner in hand, coming down the hall. He pulls his head back into his room and quietly closes the door with the old “pre-turn the doorknob and shut the door quietly, trick”, hoping he wasn’t seen. He’ll exit his room to escape, behind my back, as soon as he thinks I’ve gone past his door.

Kathryn, my wife and mother of my offspring, exits the house through the back patio door, and waits for the episode to end with a book and a beer. She’ll stay seated at the patio table until its safe.

All living things have learned to flee the house the moment I open the closet door and pull out the vacuum cleaner. When I’m in a bad mood, or have something on my mind, I clean house!

I have done this for years. I’m only guessing, but I think I attack the house because three things happen; I relieve stress, the house gets a once over and no one gets hurt. It seems the amount of cleaning I do is directly proportional to the amount of stress I’m having.

I’ll be the first to admit, I probably don’t clean well. Because of my state of mind, I have no patience. Then there is a problem with space. A middle class ranch home in the burbs of Tucson doesn’t have a basement, and every area of the no car garage is already used up. I do, however, move the piles and clean the places where the piles were.

Now that I’ve retired from the factory work, and all of the other trials and tribulations of the last fifty years, I’ve decided to make life easier and start my new career as a writer.

I mention this because, now, I find that when I’ve reached a cerebral impasse, cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming, or doing yard work, often cracks open my vault of genius. It may not happen immediately, but I know from past experiences, sooner or later, if I keep on working, I’ll settle in and get brilliant again.

When I first retired, I could see my wife (a geriatric nurse) was stressing a little about the loss of income. I could hear it in her conversation threads and hear it in the pitch of her voice. I’ve been married for thirty-seven years. As a man, I didn’t make it this far by failing to remember what I have to do to keep her happy.

I write every day. I show her my dedication to my new craft. Come rain or shine, hell or high water, I keep my nose to the grindstone. When my writing motor won’t run, I do whatever it takes to start that engine again. I clean. I paint. I plant. I remodel or do the dishes. I know that sooner or later that celebrated American novel will come pouring forth. I will make millions, and she’ll be so proud! They all will be!

I watch her relax and smile a little more as each week goes by. I’ve learned to arrange my writing time around the things she’s come to expect. When I take my grandson, Mark, to school to save my daughter and her time, I only lose about an hour of my writing day, and dishes only take about one-half hour to whip. Sweeping and vacuuming do keep me away from my writing machine a little longer, but one cannot write every minute of every day.

Of course, being the hunter gender of this union, I cannot let her, the gentler, weaker of the sexes, know this. I do not want to shatter her image of me at the keyboard each day; hammering out those combinations of words that the world doesn’t even suspect are going to be unleashed on them someday.

I’m so thankful the world understands that excellent works of art take time. I know my wife now does. I will have to admit my new life as a writer does exhaust me; but I’m going to get right back to it as soon as I get done folding this load of towels and put the baked potatoes in the oven.

© Copyright 2012 gottagosee (UN: gottagosee at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.

gottagosee has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.

Ron’s World Famous Sweet ‘n’ Sour Deviled Eggs

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(Of course these started somewhere, Taste of Home, but I changed a few things)

 Ingredients

 12 hard-cooked eggs

1/3 cup plus 1 tablespoon low calorie Miracle Whip

5  teaspoons sugar

5 teaspoons cider vinegar (this should be the last thing your add, start with 3 and taste)

 1 teaspoon prepared mustard

1+ teaspoons Sweet Relish Juice (a little pickle relish doesn’t hurt)

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

Paprika and minced fresh parsley

 Directions

 

Slice eggs in half lengthwise; remove yolks and set whites aside. In a small bowl, mash yolks with a fork. Add the mayonnaise, sugar, mustard, salt and pepper.  I whip with my blender on medium until smooth. Now add the vinegar. Start with 3 teaspoons, taste, then one more, taste, etc.  Stuff or pipe into egg whites with the big star tip. Garnish with paprika and parsley.     

Yield: 2 dozen.

  • I put them on a deviled egg tray only after sampling at least two for quality control. I don’t cover them right away. I let the fridge dry the filling out a little bit (a couple of hours) and serve with the relish tray.
  • If there is any left over, pop four in your mouth one at a time with diet Mountain Dew and go to work. You won’t need anything else until coffee break. (maybe a tums to break up the vinegar)
  • If there’s never any left over for breakfast, only put out 18 for the other people.