Category Archives: Funnies

Solace

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……………………………… SOLACE ……………………………….

Wow.
No insult intended to anybody else, but I did not realize I was on my last nerve. They were just being themselves and I tried to get some time in my ‘man sanctuary’, but with the heat and everything here ….
Anyway, I just took the most peaceful nap in my chair, golf with my earbuds in, dogs not startling me awake.
I think I’m healing from many directions at this moment.
Lots to do, but I’m not putting any pressure on myself today, except for a little headache in my eyes from allergy stuff.
I can fix that.
In my dozing, I can hear the water noises on the golf course. Good earbuds pick up those noises.
No planes droning overhead today.
Just quiet golf shots, no cheering except from across the fence, commentators speaking in normal voice. Rahm a nice lead, quietly working.
I dreamt I put one line in the water at a friends cabin, then found an inner tube and slowly drifted around a small island.
I realized I was getting a little far out, even on a glass lake, and slowly worked my way back passed the tip of the island to shore.
I couldn’t find the cabin or my rod, but did discover a rickety garage holding the bones of a Rambler (two tone blue).
I realized I had turned the wrong way on the beach and headed back.
Watched myself walking away.
At this moment, I have no stretched nerve and remark to myself, “I’ll bet the others noticed that I was wound pretty tight.
I also realize that way out there, as quiet as the stream noises, was the world, noisily destroying itself.
A column of smoke marks the distance … ….
Solace knowing that they won’t come here.
Too much quiet for them, and nothing to gain. rdd
hmmmmm

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The Great Mastodon Hunter, I

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The Great Mastodon Hunter, I

 

I would bet you’d find me always aware of times when others (and myself) need time to breathe.
Still, I have to make an effort to not be lazy, and do something about it.
The trick is to be productive while practicing this art. I’ve discovered that it is important to have a plan!
Much easier on the psyche! lol
Once in awhile, I don’t realize that I am expending stored up energy which can disturb others.
She suggests I go to the gym, and I, eyes lit up, 99% of the time say, ……………. “Good idea!”
I’m so clever. rdd
I call my long lens photography, “Going hunting!” and Kathy responds with, “Oh good! Bring home some good ones!”
It’s taken some time, but.
I don’t know whether I’m actually getting better at my hunting, or she’s learned to praise me as a great Mastodon hunter. When I ask her to “Look at THIS one!” with excitement, she comes to the computer and goes ………….
“Wow!”
Me!
“Grin”
Have a good ‘hunting’ day, no matter what it might be!
A hunting trip to Kohl’s to find a $300 purse reduced to $90 with the ‘Sale’ plus coupons is a good one for her!
She proudly holds up her ‘mastodon skin’ purse, and I respond with “Wow”!
Have a nice day! rdd

Easter Past Repast

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1:45am Monday April 17, 2017

I’m up in the night,
haunted by the vision,

of a cold Easter spiral ham samich

………….. on whole wheat.

A ghost of Easter past,

I shall not sleep again, until I defeat it,

…………. complete.

I, without even rattling a plate,

Strait from the green, nylon cutting board I ate!

Silently, I devoured it.

That shall be the end of that,

…………. so sweet.

And now I lay me,

Back down to sleep.  ………… Ronald Douglas Drobeck

 

 

 

 

My Ism’s

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My Ism’s

 

Yes, yes genius. We know there are flaws in laws that can be exploited. Yes, we know that there is inherent weakness in being good and doing things right. The trick is to be strong enough and smart enough not to take advantage of these in the name of your own brand of righteousness. You didn’t discover anything new….You failed!…..rdd

 

I am saddened today as I watch the return of forgotten history…..rdd

 

Is not flooding the airwaves with nonsense a form of censorship?….rdd

 

(When it’s not proper to verbalize what I want)

But, read my eyes! Sometimes they use such disgusting language!…..rdd

 

One of the unmentioned truths is in this string…..ignorance has its own DNA string right next to greed, power, and stupidity!

 

President Obama Sir: The reason small business owners need more than $250 thousand net in a year is so they can save and or invest some in case a president comes along that tries to destroy them by limiting their growth potential and staying power. You don’t know any presidents like that, do you?

 

A personality that reached its climax before it ever reached ‘American’!

 

Dear President Obama Sir: All of the great things you said about America the day before yesterday, yesterday, and today are the reasons why you can’t get anything done.

 

Yes, yes genius. We know there are flaws in laws that can be exploited. Yes, we know that there is inherent weakness in being good and doing things right.

The trick is to be strong enough and smart enough not to take advantage of these in the name of your own brand of righteousness. You didn’t discover anything new….You actually failed the integrity test!…..rdd

 

I feel like one sheep that is watched over by a flock of shepherds. I watch, listen, and learn from you all. It’s important. I hope I make you smile and laugh a hundred times…..Gees, I hope I didn’t just put a curse on you….LOL

 

 

I’m trying to express the transition from Tucson to Milbank. Would it work if I said, “at some point on my trip to my little prairie town in South Dakota, I pierced the wall of one bubble and went through the wall and into a much less frantic bubble where today is a little more like yesterday and will be a little more like tomorrow, forty years ago. A temporary refuge!”….rdd

 

 

I spent the day remembering, on and off! Tomorrow, I will balance today with remembering off and on. I will be reminded tomorrow that it’s an everyday deal, and I will remind myself that the survivors must work every day to arrange life to prevent it from happening again, and again, and again. We are very slow when it involves truly important things……rdd

 

  • The newer generation loves you more if you can make them dance….so dance…forget the past….soon you won’t like the dance anymore…..rdd

 

 

 

I often thought I would like to be worshipped as a god! Now every night, if I don’t take a shower, I have to use a washcloth to get the dog lick off from my legs!

 

 

     I am continually amazed at the number sophomoric public figures that saw away at the fruit bearing limb they and their grandchildren are sitting on, 24/7!…..rdd

 

 

The current administration has nothing to say to rude audience participation….flotus.

You have enabled 3rd graders to speak without raising their hand.

 

 

Welcome to the new week….May you all see some new truth, gain a little wisdom and recover a little sanity during this coming week. I can maybe help with the sanity part……rdd

 

 

For those of you that listened to ‘I Love A Rainy Night’ yesterday, remember, if I post something like that that appears flawed and a struggle, it was done on purpose….the whole recording is the song….it’s all ‘the song’. It’s the nut that breaks off when your fixing a car, the milk that boils over on the stove, the contract you write that you forgot to get signed, and the toothache that appears Sunday morning just before church….It’s all color and part of the story…….we struggled sometimes, sang off key sometimes or tried to sing ‘out’ of our key. Enjoy it all….it’s JB’s time machine, and can

never happen again…..rdd

 

 

I hope I understand ‘the standing man’. My interpretation would be: No one is listening so I’ll just stand here, my hands in my pockets, shoulders fallen in disgust at the utter nonsense of it all. What little I weep, I weep for the human race, growing pains or a spiral to the end?….rdd

 

 

The overkill attack on Paula Dean (a known quantity) is a blatant symptom of our now disease injected society. I have no reason to protect her personally….I do have an obligation to fight the disease attacking her, and I shall. Please help me fight these germs with, choice words and the strength of character worthy of our ‘Founding Fathers’ and The Constitution of the United States that has propelled us to the point where lesser beings feel threatened by our personality. Show some strength Americans!……..rdd

 

 

I see, from what I’ve read on FB today, the passionate people here, no matter what side of the fence you are on, have blessed, found, given away, teased, and strutted with equal passion. I wish you all my best….rdd

 

It seems, most of us are capable of taking care of ourselves, and the people around us, near and far, without laws making us, or telling us to do so. I said ‘most’. Those not included in ‘most’ are costing us a lot of money and causing a lot of problems. Each of us ‘most people’ is thinking about you in our own way! Have a nice day!

 

You know the thing you couldn’t afford before, but if the kids left, you got a raise, skimped on a couple of other things, and they dropped the price, you would be able get? Well, all of those things happened, and you can’t afford it again!….rdd

 

 

Tomorrow, I think I’ll watch the D.C. Comics show again. Today I watched a bunch take over the front of the bus….When they got to where they were going…..they all got jammed up in the front door, but the people at the extra wide back door snickered as they calmly filed out! LOL

 

 

We must preserve freedom of evolutionary advancement!!!!! 07/15/13

 

What they’d like you to believe: middle class = sharks, kahuna tuna, moray eels, stingrays, barracuda. What the result will be when they are done with the designer middle class……………….tilapia 07/25/13 rdd

 

There is a style of human that believes if they, legally or illegally, morally or immorally, remove successful people from the square footage the successful people are standing on and then occupy that square footage themselves, they should become and be called successful!

 

Apparently, no one in W.D.C. knows how to flush! 07/31/13

 

 

Yes, yes, yes!…..the butler was a good, great man…..and electing a misguided, small man because he’s black demeans the butler and every other good black man out there! So sad the elected, small man’s color hides the wonderful point!………..rdd 08/09/2013

 

The PGA sure has attracted some loud mouthed spectators! ‘No Class’ is spreading everywhere……but then…….we digress! 08/10/13

 

 

I watched some college professor lady in charge of environmental something or other tell me that if I didn’t believe in climate change, all I need to do is go up and watch the glaciers melt, the permafrost defrost, and the average temp rise. What this cockeyed lady doesn’t realize is that some of us know that the earth’s temps, weather patterns, polar caps, land masses and universe have been pulsing since the beginning. Yes….of course there is climate change…..constantly……duh! It doesn’t give mentally challenged positioned people the right to declare it the fault of humans, and assume to take over control of the universe’s surges by taxing what they feel are the cause or scan the sheeple. PS…..I consider my opinion just as or more viable than hers or theirs. I also believe that being a good steward of our planet is a no brainer…..just do it with panache and don’t cram it! We have time and there are some dedicated, non-political minds that will take us there at human invention pace…..unless we drop the sky on them.

 

Black plague found in the United States under Obama’s Care! 08/21/13

 

We were adults once, had our children and then moved on! There is no going back once you’ve graduated from adult!……..rdd 10/29/2013

 

The ignorant little screamers out there don’t realize that they will lose the right to scream about other people’s rights as a natural progression of their own screaming!…..Ronald Douglas Drobeck 10/30/2013

 

  • 11/01/13
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  • Obama and the weather channel won’t give up on anything that’s been brainwashed into them. Actually, he could care less, but he has to garnish his perceived profile for concern about everything. It’s a blah, blah, blah for face sake. Showmanship authored and encouraged by his handlers.

 

As a global leader, we need to do much better picking our leaders. I suppose now is as good a time as any to go through this sham. I will thank him and the Senate, annnnnnnnd the poor quality republicans we elected in the last 17 years, for providing the example of how not to be and what not to do!

By diluting ‘the people’ with ignorance (as planned) it’s really hard to give ‘power to the people’ until the people are again going forward as a race.

We have so many ‘locked out’ truths right now that honesty cannot rule. An untruth has to be rationalized with another untruth until, hopefully, we start diluting untruths with truths again. It all goes back to the laws of nature, physics, and for some religion. There is a pile of humans running around amongst these truths disrupting things. Yes the solid laws wiggle and gyrate a little but go back to center as soon as the irritation goes away. (This, maybe is too farfetched for some who believe humans are running this place!) LOLOLOL

I haven’t written my short story about it yet, but have always been fascinated and amazed by the satisfaction and rewards that are bestowed upon those that work along the solid lines of nature, common sense, physics, and yes’ may I include the honest religions, which I consider part of the tool kit for working with the first three. Everyone else bucking the solid parameters are wasting time, money, and may even be delaying progress, and causing serious injury…….rdd

That’s where we are now…….stopping to prop up the hind end while pushing the head down so it can’t see………………….rdd

 

With honesty as a natural consequence of the laws of nature, dishonesty is eventually caught out in the open, naked! (Without defense)……rdd 11/13/13

 

There comes a time when a person has to be perfectly honest, but today I’m not willing to get beat up!….rdd 11/15/13

 

 

I want to make sure I understand this. We are a Republic so that the mentally competent (which are harder to grow), aren’t outvoted by the mentally incompetent (which are easier to grow)! Is that correct?……rdd

 

 

Nelson Mandela (12/5/13)

 

I did not know him personally, I am not an expert in any fashion, but with what I know, with what I suspect, and with what he didn’t say, I would suspect he knew things of truth that he held and couldn’t say. He watched, learned, and weighed, and knew he could take them so far, and then time would run out for him, but continue for painfully slow processes. I know when I see him shaking hands, it was not for his own gratification and ego! He was passing on the necessary spirit. Maybe somewhere along the way he touched the hand of the future logical visionary child who will transcend the emotion and drama of the masses to be a guide to the realistic…..rdd

 

 

12/16/2013

 

One of my favorite spectator sports! Watching the battle between ignorant, experimental man and balanced mother nature. I’ve been watching it for so long, I know who’s going to win every time!…..rdd

 

 

12/25/2013

Merry Christmas to the Obama family……our sense of American tradition and humor far outweighs your feeble attempt to destroy us. May you receive back more than you have given this Christmas!….rdd

 

2014

 

01/24/14

In regards to an Oklahoma senator wishing to pass a Pierce Morgan open carry gun law:

 

LOLOLOLOL…..we are beginning to stoop to their game…..It’s about time, as long as we get back up on the porch when we are done……those little dogs barking all of the time has got to stop! Especially when they bark with a European (you are pee’n) accent!

 

02/02/14 Making Super Bowl Soft Pretzels

 

The soft pretzel dough rises! no…NOOOOO!!!!! dun dun dun dun dun dun dundundundundun dddddddd……a high pitched scream….ahieeeee. I grabbed it…punched it….wrestled it and squished it until it laid limp………… Ahhh, a sigh……I neaded that! LOLOLOLOLOL

Rdd

 

02/06/14

Ronald D. Drobeck People have heard my stories of how I’ve filled my life up. You just reminded me of things I’ve never told. I don’t think Kathy even has an idea how I wore nothing but a feather, loin cloth, baby oiled tan….the campfire flickering like an old time movie, that brought out the sinew and muscle moving with each step of the drum beat. And then years later, Brotherhood, the full headdress and the big white eyes of those about to be initiated. It was preparation for the moments in life when you just had to stand there and take it! Like boot camp, you had to endure to become a leader. You became a leader because you held your head so high, your eyes so clear, your thoughts always up and forward.

 

Ronald D. Drobeck Sorry Les….I got carried away. At our age, it was mystical and ancient. It tied us to the earth. It taught us take care of each other and the planet. It changed me. I never more went with the flow. I never wasted it!

 

..

Ronald D. Drobeck Good…..ain’t I?

 

Ronald D. Drobeck This is vintage stuff. I am not sure things are done the same today. The world has changed. People have changed. Ideals have changed. The scouts have changed.

 

 

 

02/10/14

I did my adulthood! Now, I shall re-embrace my youth!….rdd

 

3/14/14

 

If you believe in nothing but yourself, the best you can achieve is mediocrity. Having achieved the best of mediocrity is next to nothing at all!….rdd

 

04/26/14

 

This is why we have ‘individual freedom’! Every time you give ‘Barney Fife’ an authority bullet, he’s got to shoot the damned thing, and shoot himself in the foot at the same time!…. Rdd

 

 

04/28/2014

 

It’s been proven by Progressives that gloomy days produce a hunger for freshly baked bread with peanut butter which causes obesity which makes you pre-diabetic for about an hour!…rdd

 

 

04/28/2014

 

Pennsylvania: That state sure has it’s govern-mental problems!….rdd

 

05/02/2014

 

But, when ignorance becomes the norm, everyone else is an ‘idiot’!…rdd

 

05/03/2014

 

Never ever speak the truth about the elephants in the room. You will get trampled!….rdd

 

05/7/2014

 

I consider myself lucky and fortunate to be blessed an ‘observer’! It is embarrassing when I revert to Neanderthal once in a while. Embarrassing but cleansing? One must occasionally grab his own vest, snap it straight, clear the throat, get the chin back in proper alignment, and step back out of the crowd to again be a proper observer….rdd

 

05/08/2014

 

I do not like green clouds and rain. (this sentence could become famous!)…rdd

 

05/09/2014

 

What happened to your ancestors is not an excuse for what you did or the way you are acting at this moment! This moment is YOUR responsibility. Yes! Including the good stuff! …………..rdd

 

05/10/2014

 

 

From the beginning of my time, I was never impressed by the bar set for regular people. Many times, I just walked around it and got two jumps ahead. I did enjoy watching them get the purple, red, and yellow ribbons!….ronaldddrobeck

 

Ronald D. Drobeck I once entered an Easter hat contest at Alondra Park in Redondo Beach. I was maybe eight. I had walked there by myself along Torrance Ave, was fishing and saw the contest. There were excited parents and little kids with bows and fancy hats standing in line properly. So I got in line, walked up on stage with my fishing rod and my kids Dodgers cap. I won a ribbon for ‘Originality’! I went back to fishing! You know…..there are many kinds of ‘fishing’!….rdd

 

 

05/10/2014

 

Musician: One who loads $5000 worth of equipment into a $500 car to travel 100 miles to a gig that pays $50.

‘Tis true. As much as some become a physician, scientist, explorers, great chef, and artist, I became a combination of all the above! A musician! How so?……..ronaldddrobeck

 

05/15/2014

 

I take my music very serious. I only sing a string of one note at a time, but I hope that string will verge and blend someday! I’m working at it. LOL….dissonance used correctly does not contribute to chaos, although it might shake the impure free to create better harmonies somewhere else!

 

O5/15/2014

 

Famous people that are closet musicians!

 

One must be in tune, and that takes practice, practice, practice.

Those that are not in tune never practiced a thing in their life. They just do stuff with little thought to the ending, and get in the tuned peoples way!……ronaldddrobeck

 

5/18/2014

Ronald D. Drobeck I only ‘lounged’ in my Fruit of the Looms for the 6 weeks of our married life when we didn’t have at least one kid here! Kathy just put up with it…..I flaunted it……I think she’s paying Jaime to stay here! I may run away.

 

Ronald D. Drobeck P.S. I do also wear my Tony Lama’s and my Ruger. I think those are what she didn’t like!

 

Ronald D. Drobeck Since then I’ve switched from country music to Jazz and Swing. I have no idea what would happen now!

 

11/9/14

 

For most it’s easy to become one of many. For a few, it’s easy to become one of one. Ronalddrobeck

 

11/17/14

I have so many “woulda’, coulda’, shoulda’s” in my past, but I don’t go there. If I worry about all of those, I won’t have time for my gunna’s! ……rdd

 

11/19/14

 

All days long we run, through the things that want to eat us, while trying to be what we should be,….. and once in a while we get to pick, a fruit from the good stuff tree. Ronalddrobeck

 

11/29/14

Want to leave the mass and have a personality………….. take the next ‘EXIT’ ramp! …..rdd

 

12/2/2014

Sometimes, lack of respect and the inability to get a job are earned!

 

 

12/29/2014

 

Of Colette Brust’s 45th anniversary:

“It was doomed to last from the start!” rdd

 

2015

 

01/06/15

 

Related to a post about the -35 temps up in the Dakotas:

 

I suspect that the temperature differential between Tucson and Milbank will be 100°! The difference between Tucson and International Falls will be 120°! I would say that grabbing the opportunity to move to Tucson was right up there with the best accidental correct things I’ve ever done. ……rdd

 

01/13/15

 

This happens when attitude numbers are higher than I.Q.. rdd (The federal government which has “Tomahawk” cruise missiles, and “Apache”, “Kiowa”, and “Lakota” helicopters, and used the code name “Geronimo” in the attack on Osama bin Laden, officially objects to the name of the “Washington Redskins”.)

 

01/15/15

 

In regards to MSNBC

Once they discover that they are not the diabolical, sneaky hero, genius, guru they thought they were, they often go the opposite direction as if to demonstrate, “I meant to do that!”

 

01/23/15

 

Global warming is a marketing tool only! If the people using this natural phenomena for college papers, news headlines, scare tactics and face time would shut up….. no one would notice and the wave would reverse with no one the wiser except those people that would go into global cooling mode to make money!

 

03/25/15

 

Too much intosiasm! (I coining this word officially right now) It’s when you are ‘into’ something and want to share your enthusiasm with everyone.

 

04/23/15

 

Hey…. has anybody’s check book debit and credit balancing page changed? Mine still has one space for dollars and one space for cents, a line underneath I can add or subtract to get the new balance by analog math.

It still works, is quick, and I know what my balance is in two seconds.

I’m checking to make sure they are patronizing me with an ‘old fart’ check book when I should be getting one with a tri fold worksheet.

I hate being patronized! Rdd

 

04/28/15

 

When you build your house on sand and prop it up with wishful thinking, sooner or later it will fall.

Welfare checks, food stamps, idle time, degrees without actual education, implanted lies, unreal and explosive morals will eventually take it down. Rdd

 

04/30/15

 

The timber of a man (or woman) shows up in their manner(s) during the marathon of their life. It’s not what happened last week, for that is only a small portion of the run. It’s the whole run and then….. their grace in home stretch. Ronald Douglas Drobeck

 

 

05/02/15

 

What is happening in Baltimore was seeded by the election of the mayor on down through the judges, lawyers, city boards, degrading morals and morays of the city. This degradation was backed by the governor, and inspired by the racially consumed and infected federal government. …rdd

 

05/14/15

 

I watch for adults that have not had their spirit broken. Then…………….. it’s deep and smart, and stubborn. Perfect! …..rdd

 

 The End (for now)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

News Flash……June Oh Thirteen

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thFrom the news desk of Flash Drobeck

I’m going to take this opportunity to defend fiction writers around the universe.

I’ve recently heard that a few disgruntled novelists and non-fiction reporters from other networks are insinuating we fiction writers are just a bunch of liars that prey on the imagination of the less rigid and undisciplined minds.

I can assure you, my universe traveling companion, E.R. Burroughs and I spare no expense researching and checking our sources before we report any news for The Inter-Galactic Inquirer.

A case in point: The daring, in the field, reporting of the wars on Barsoom, the years of often near death, Spartan living conditions that tax even the heartiest of us fiction journalists, are proof of our integrity and dedication.

The search to interview John Carter alone was a feat no novelist would dare pursue! These people are driven by the almighty Galaxio, and what it can get them.

Trust me when I say, our income buys little prestige. We dig to the bottom of our own pockets to first report these righteous stories we ferret out for YOU, our treasured readers.

Even now, our recently released feature, “The Pluton Tax Revolt” is in question by the non-fiction purists.

Our colleague on Pluto has verified that the Plutons are taxed by the total number of thumbs on their middle hand.

Called “The Thumb Tax”, you are assessed more if you have one to two thumbs, and less if you have three to five thumbs. It’s the government’s contention, that if you have three to five thumbs you need to have a managerial or authoritarian position because you are not capable of skilled labor, and require exceptional financial protocols. (All Thumbs Law)

How could anyone not believe that?

We thank you for your support!

Who’s Runnin’ This Place?

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photo by Ralph Bentpaw (bartender)

As he lay in the cozy next to the well chewed bar, Humphrey Bogart Dude looked the new puppy in the eye,

“Warf warf warf, narknark warf work work, hark warf warf warf!”

The stogie chew in the side of his mouth preventing his lips from forming

the hard ‘B’ at the front of each word!

Translation: Barf barf barf, barkbark barf bork bork, bark barf barf barf!

Humanese: “I was here when my brother bit it, and I’ll still be here when you bite it, see!

 

The Death of my Tuna Noodle Casserole!

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I got a nasty Email yesterday from a woman that was extremely disappointed with one of my recipes.

She said a friend of hers told her about the fabulous ‘Tuna Noodle Casserole’ that was posted on my website. So, she said she went to my website and copied my recipe as she had guests coming over for dinner that evening.

This is a copy of the Email:

Dear Mr. Drobeck, I tried your ‘Tuna Noodle Casserole’ recipe last night and served it to some of my best friends. I have to say, it was a complete failure. None of my guests would eat it, and it stunk up the house while it was baking.

I followed your recipe exactly as posted! Well, except for one exception. I didn’t have any regular noodles but did have whole wheat spiral macaroni that my husband eats because of his heart condition, but everything else was exactly as you suggested.

Oh, one more thing, I didn’t have any tuna in the pantry, and because it was getting so late in the day, I didn’t have time to run to the store, so I used two small cans of sardines instead of the tuna. I just chopped them up in tuna size pieces, but everything else was just as your recipe required. I wouldn’t think the can of split pea soup I substituted for the Cream of Mushroom soup would be enough to alter the recipe. Because time was short, I baked it at 450 degrees Instead of the 325 in your recipe but I shortened the cooking time, to compensate. Other than that, I followed your directions perfectly.

May I suggest you try another endeavor? Cooking doesn’t seem to be your calling. I for one will never try one of your recipes again.

Sincerely, Hildegaard Blossom