Ron’s World Famous Emergency Holie Guacamole Morning Toast on Sourdough
My pie pastry with lemon
(if you get this right, I promise the flakiest dough you’ve ever made)
3 cups of flour
1 1/2 tbsp. of sugar
1 1/2 tsp of salt
1 1/8 cups of shortening
2 small eggs separated
1 1/2 tbsp. of lemon juice
3/8 cup of milk
Combine dry ingredients
Cut in the shortening
Combine the egg yolk, lemon juice, and milk
Stir into the dry ingredients with a fork to make a soft dough just enough stirring to make a ball.
Roll out the pastry between two sheets of waxed paper
as needed for bottom and top
Flute the edges and brush on the spoon whipped egg white
and sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar.
Don’t forget to slice in some steam release holes in the top crust for apple or cherry pie.
My newest favorite sammich. I don’t know if samich is spelled with one m or two, but it looks better with two. Both are now accepted in my dictionary in the computer.
Are you ready?
Two slices of your favorite rye bread including pumpernickel.
Two or more slices of sammich ham. I’m using slices of Costco sammich ham.
Some Tostidos brand cheese spread at whatever heat rating you like. I use medium (gringo)
6 to 12 chopped pimento stuffed olives roughly chopped. I used 9 today.
You can make variations like toasting the bread etc.
So spread a thin layer of Miracle Whip on both slices.
Then the amount of cheese spread on one slice as thick as you can handle without making it drip I suppose.
Add the ham in whatever artful fashion you desire.
Add the chopped olives to the cheese spread side of the bread.
Slice the bread on the bias. Place it on the plate with your favorite chips or cold salad like my macaroni salad.
Take your noon medications.
Then enjoy! rdd
Here’s the short of it: Heat the milk, cool the milk, add the culture, place the bowl on a bath towel when mixture is 120°, leave it alone for 8 hours. Strain it through a thread bare dish towel. Add you favorite instant pudding. etc. I whip mine up in about 30 minutes including the heating and cooling. My cost on a big quart About $2.
Now: the long of it line by line:
I seriously have been creating this yogurt for over two years now. I’ve got it down to an art, so follow my instructions line by line and you should have created something that you will make for the rest of your life. Follow me! It’s really easy.
1 cup of milk (any strength)
¾ cup apple juice
½ cup plain Greek yogurt (or whatever you’ve got on hand)
1 tbsp. real Maple syrup
2 cups whole wheat flour
1 tbsp. + 2 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. cinnamon
¼ tsp. salt
Stir in 2 apples worth of cut up raw apple about the size of a waffle indent
(use raw Granny Smith apples, or sauté any apple with your favorite pie spices)
Pour one cup+ and spread in your preheated waffle maker. (depends on size of maker)
Cook for at least 4 minutes. (for extra crispy, longer)
I freeze these so when I have the urge to go to the grocery store to buy anything on my
Shopping list so I can buy myself a fritter or a couple of $.59 doughnuts, I can go to the
freezer, grab a couple of sections, microwave for a moment, pop them in the toaster,
and top with butter and cinnamon, honey, maple syrup, or anything to kill the trip and the expensive
PS, I’ll soon have an unsweetened white frosting in a squirt bottle. rdd
1 lb. processed cheese (Velveeta) cut into small pieces
1 can evaporated milk (13 oz.)
4 Tbsp margarine or butter
1 tsp salt
Dash of hot sauce to taste
1 tsp dry mustard
1/2 cup chopped pimento and olive (add to your taste)
I purchase the jars of already chopped olives with pimento
An alternative is finely chopped chilis from a jar.
I make 1/2 of this recipe at a time to keep it fresh.
All of the added ingredients may be added short, and brought up to your taste!
I like a little extra hot sauce!
Melt it all together in a double boiler so as not to
burn it, stirring until it is creamy. Do not simmer.
Let it cool enough to transfer to a jar or container.
Spread it on pumpernickel or your favorite cracker, or
on a hamburger off the grill or hot burrito.
Oh my! mmmmmmmmmmm Enjoy
Bread made with honey has a slightly nutty flavor that cannot be found in bread made with sugar. This bread is easy for beginners and experienced bakers alike!
One large mixing bowl, I use the big yellow Tupperware one with the cover.
2 tsp. of granular yeast, I use Red Star Quick Rise
1 tbsp. of Kosher salt or salt
1 beaten egg
2 tbsp. olive oil
2 tbsp. of Honey (I don’t really measure, I think I use a little more! Ha!)
3 Cups of 100° water (I mix the egg, olive oil, and honey with water to make 1 1/2 cups, add that to the flour and then add another 1 1/2 of water ( I use a two cup glass measuring cup)
6 1/2 Cups of Unbleached bread or unbleached regular flour (regular bread flour will work)
That’s it! Beginners follow these instructions line by line.
Mix the flour, salt and yeast in the mixing bowl.
Add the egg, olive oil, honey, and water until everything is damp and in a ball.
I use dough hooks on my hand mixer (I mix by hand sometimes for airier dough. The dough should pull away from the sides when it’s ready. You can use your hands right at the end or for the whole mixing. Rub a little olive oil or veg. oil. butter on the flour ball and cover until it has doubled in size. (I use my toaster oven as a proofing oven! I use 150°, yours might be more or less)
Knead for 1 minute in the bowl. Less is ok….add a little flour if it’s too sticky. It should be a fairly firm dough.
Divide into two halves and let rest for 10 minutes then gently place in an ever so lightly greased loaf pan. (I use Pam) Cover and let rise until it domes over the top of the pan edge 1/2″. (again I using my counter top oven as a proofing oven, but it will all rise on your counter with a little more time)
Bake at 350° for 34 minutes Remove the loaves from the pans and place them on cooling a rack.
Slice as soon as you can’t stand it anymore Do not overdose! Experiment to find your threshold. LOLOLOLOL
PS Of course, you will have to get the feel for little changes for your talent, location, size of egg, etc. This is common, be brave. rdd
Ron’s World Famous Almost Scratch Pizza
Jimmy Dean’s Regular Pork Sausage 1lb. (Why?)….Because it consistent, has little fat, and comes in different flavors and heat. Pepperoni, Green pepper, Onion, Ragu Pizza Sauce (I have used Hunt’s, and have made my own), Italian seasoning, mozzarella cheese, shredded Parmesan cheese in a shaker, Bread flour, Yeast, Garlic salt or garlic butter, Olive oil, Sugar, 16″ pizza pan (or two twelve-inch pans)
Put 1 1/2 cups warm water in a two cup measuring cup Add a 1 1/4 oz. package of Active Dry Yeast (2 1/4 tsp.) Add 1 Tbls. sugar and stir to start the Yeast
In a medium bowl (I use aluminum because it conducts heat a little faster) add 4 cups of Bread flour, 1 1/2 tsp. of salt. (I’ve been known to add garlic salt instead of salt) I blend these with a wire whisk.
Add in the started yeast (foam will begin to form on the top) and mix with a fork or pastry blending tool. Knead into a bread dough ball and rub with olive oil. Put it back in the same bowl. Now put almost hot water in a slightly smaller bowl (any material), and set the dough ball bowl on top of the warm water bowl. I cover this with a damp flour sack towel to keep it moist and warm. Let it rise, punch it down, put fresh warm water in the bottom bowl and let the pizza dough rise again.
While the dough is rising, dice 3/4 cup of onion, and 3/4 cup of green pepper and caramelize them in a medium fry pan. When they are translucent, remove them and brown to crumbling the pork sausage. When that is browned, add the onion and pepper back in and cover off of the heat. Let it set until needed.
When the dough has risen twice, flour your rollout surface and dump the dough ball in the middle of the flour and then work it a bit to develop the gluten. I then slowly roll it out with my heavy roller (marble). I try not to stretch it but want the round to be an inch bigger than the 16″ pan or 18″. I then perforate it all over with a fork to prevent large bubbles. Place the dough on the pizza pan and let it rest and raise a little. Now, there are two ways to go. Fold the dough under and make it look good, or brush pizza sauce on the top edge, add a trail of mozzarella all the way around the pizza, and roll the extra hang over dough to make a stuffed crust ring all the way around. Now I brush the garlic butter or salt on the rolled part. Pre-heat the oven to 400°.
Next spread the pizza sauce on the rest of the pizza, and add the pork sausage, onion, and green pepper crumbles. Sprinkle on the parmesan cheese and Italian seasoning, spread the pepperoni around about two inches apart. Now add the mozzarella to cover the surface well. Now, I add 8 to 12 pepperoni slices on top because the grease from the pepperoni darkens the mozzarella cheese and I like the mozzarella dark. for taste.
At this point, you can let the pizza rest or put it in the oven on the 2nd shelf down from the top. Set the timer for 20 minutes and begin to watch it. No two ovens are the same. If the top is getting done before the crust is getting brown on the bottom, move the pizza down. Find the best spot for your oven and remember it.
When the pizza is done, let it rest long enough to firm up…..slice and enjoy. If there was ever a great left over breakfast pizza, this is the one! It’s got breakfast sausage in it!!
Ron’s World Famous Milbank, South Dakota Goulash (also called Macaroni Goulash)
Dice 1/2 medium onion (your choice)
Dice 1/2 medium green pepper
Chop fine at least three garlic cloves (more if your Italian or live on a farm)
Two tbls. of EVOO
Heat the above in a large frying pan until veggies are caramelized.
Remove them to a small bowl or whatever while you are browning the hamburger
Brown to crumbling, two pounds of 85% fresh hamburger in the already hot pan. Once the hamburger is browned add:
1 can of undiluted tomato soup
1 small can of tomato sauce
1/2 cup Ketchup
1 1/2 tbls. prepared mustard
1 tbls. brown sugar
As much Italian seasoning as you like (several shakes from a big hole shaker)
2 tsp. salt
The caramelized veggies
Simmer covered until everything marries and the hamburger is tender (maybe an hour+)
Important: Taste……sometimes it may need a little more Italian seasoning just before you add in the macaroni.
While the meat sauce is simmering, add 2 1/2 cups regular macaroni to salted, boiling water and cook ‘el dente’. When the meat sauce is tender and the macaroni is drained, marry the two plus a can of drained sweet corn in the frying pan still on simmer. Let the meat sauce cook into the macaroni. (add water if needed, but I like it to pile up a little)
The correct end cooking time is equal to the time it takes to slice, garlic butter and brown, french bread under the oven broiler, second shelf down.
Serve with good, shredded or shaved parmesan cheese on top.
Two days after (if there is anything left) put olive oil in a non-stick fry pan and fry the left over goulash until it’s just getting crispy. Warm the garlic bread in the toaster or toaster oven and spread a thin layer of creamy peanut butter over the buttered side. Enjoy a whole different taste…..peanut butter, garlic and tomato work well together….trust me…..rdd