Near Death by Broccoli


      For all of you that follow my life closely and worry about me, I’d like you to know that I’m O.K.!

       The stir-fry doggie bag that my wife brought from “girls night out” almost got me, but I saved myself. 

      She’d ordered stir fried Chicken and Scallops, knowing that I loved fried scallops, and she would not be able to eat it all. It was mixed with Chinese noodles, rice and several kinds of vegetables.

       Because it was late and I’d already eaten, I asked her to transfer the leftovers from the Styrofoam into a Ziploc container and put it in the refrigerator. I thought about them all through the next day while I was at work. Scallops are expensive and a real treat for me.

      That evening I decided to have the treasure for supper so, I cracked the lid a bit and put the container in the microwave for three and a half minutes. The dinger went off; I shook the container and put it back in the microwave for another one-half minute. There was a little steam coming from the cracked cover so I emptied the contents onto a plate, ready for the feast.

        That’s when I saw them. There were three pieces of broccoli half hidden and lurking beneath the noodles, carrots and zucchini. I screamed and quickly ran to the sink. So as to not waste time, I grabbed a used silicon spatula from a plate on the counter top and quickly flipped the largest piece into the disposal.

       The other two pieces were smaller and I flicked them with my right pointer finger into the sink and then hit them with the sprayer. They circled around the sink once and then washed into the disposal with the large piece. I hit the switch and heard the cry and gurgle of the disposal motor and its contents.

       I turned off the disposal and water, picked up my plate to examine it and saw in my vision off to the side of the plate, the large piece of broccoli was trying to crawl out of the hole. 

      I hit it with the spatula and ran the disposal again. I turned the disposal off, watched and listened. There was no movement, only silence. 

      After trying to see down the disposal through the rubber collar and satisfying myself it was empty, I re-examined my plate hoping that none of the juice from the broccoli had seeped into my scallops.

       At this time, I am reporting the stir fried scallops were delicious and I survived but, it was close. One must be on his toes at all times!

At this time, I’ve written eighty some odd short stories and poems. I’m going to rotate them through this web site to keep it fresh. Hopefully, I’ll have other forms of entertainment drift through as I learn to use this site. At least twelve of the short stories will be published in a future book called Ron’s Shorts! LOL…..couldn’t resist!



About Ronald D. Drobeck

I've read, learned, been discriminated against, patronized, lied to, laughed at, laughed with, and ignored. I'm not a minority, not tall, not good looking, not skinny, not hairy, and can see 10 miles, but not two feet. I've been a paperboy, college student, licensed nursing home administrator, professional musician (country swing drummer), duck and goose hunter, fisherman, conservationist, Eagle scout, camp counselor, canoeing instructor, lifeguard, comedian, restaurant owner, licensed exterminator, insurance agent, warehouse manager, carpenter, conservative, father of 4, baseball coach, husband, worrier, writer, embryo gardener, photographer, and nice guy. now, old.

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